"Athens built the Acropolis. Corinth was a commercial city, interested in purely materialistic things. Today we admire Athens, visit it, preserve the old temples, yet we hardly ever set foot in Corinth." - Dr. Harold Urey, Nobel Laureate in chemistry 



"If you don’t want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet." — Comedian Jay Leno 



I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute — where no Catholic prelate would tell the president (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishoners for whom to vote—where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference—and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the president who might appoint him or the people who might elect him. - from John F. Kennedy’s address to the Greater Houston Ministerial Association September 12, 1960. 



"Poor man… he was like an employee to me." — The police commisioner on "Sledge Hammer" laments the death of his bodyguard 



How many hardware guys does it take to change a light bulb? “Well the diagnostics say it’s fine buddy, so it’s a software problem.”